Chasing Zen

#chasingzen

I remember when I would say find your Zen, like it was something I misplaced and was trying to find before I ran out the door. I was grasping at the word and not the state of existence. Twenty years (give or take) after hearing about “Zen” in a yoga studio and setting out on my seek and find mission, I have reached a place where I think I truly understand the what Zen is to me.

I’ve been immersed in what feels like a constant state of chaos over the last week. There have been delays in projects, schedule changes, crazy kiddos on the lead up to Halloween, and then I found out about the untimely death of a friend and mentor. I was rolling through the first few, until the gut punch of my friends’ death stopped me cold.

I wanted to move on, keep pushing through the projects, meetings, scheduled life stuff. Brush it off and move on was my plan. I wanted to carry on with my life without the necessary pause and reflection the circumstances required. I needed to be with the people that matter, I needed to give myself the time to process, grieve, and reset. Why? Because it’s necessary to find peace. Zen is not a destination, it’s wisdom about our own reality and what we need to prosper as a grounded, aware human.

According to Quora.com, the opposite of Zen, or the acquired wisdom about reality, is ignorance. The ignorance involves the grasping we humans carry on for anything and everything, from what we feel is simply materialism to what we believe is purely innocent and right.

What’s reality? All of the things I just mentioned were, and still are my reality. I am aware of them, but I don’t want them to be the predominate influence in my life. How can I expect others to choose joy if I wallow in sadness without allowing time? How can I ask people to focus on prana and the energy it provides if I am cocooning myself in a blanket in the fetal position on my couch? How can I say value the important things in life (friends, family, self, experiences), when I want to push them aside to complete my tasks?

I will continue on my journey of Zen, gathering wisdom by experiencing life, not just tasking myself to death. I invite you to join me on this journey.

Here’s to Life!

Namaste,

Kelly